Never forget that she is your child’s mother

I follow so many father’s rights advocacy groups, so I see every single day the things fathers say about their children’s mother. I know how you guys may feel, and I fully understand that it may be justifiable. However, I really want you all to remember this. Regardless of the past, regardless of the present, regardless of the future, she will always be your child’s mother.

Stop using derogatory terms in order to describe your ex to others. I do not agree with the practice of strictly calling your ex a “co-parent”, because calling someone your ex is not derogatory in my eyes. On top of the common obscenities and all the other words you definitely should not be saying to describe your ex, the one thing I hate is when the term “baby momma” is used. The same goes with women calling their kid’s father “baby daddy”. We are not sperm or egg donors, we are parents. Both of us, whether either of us likes it or not.

When I talk about my daughter’s mother to her, I try and be honest but sensitive and respectful. I do not like that my daughter’s mother shows me no respect, but I have every intention of showing respect back. Even if it’s not earned. This goes to the title of my post. This is your child’s mother. I try and say the things I liked about her mother. When I bring up stories from the past, I bring up the fond ones. I want her to experience life not just with me, but with her other family and siblings. Her family and siblings are important to me, regardless of them being mine because that is her family. She is my family, so that makes them family to me.

We all have the things we say in private to our friends, family, significant others and that’s okay to an extent. However, as bizarre and as insane as fathers may see this, regardless of 11 years of parental alienation. Regardless of so many facts that have caused such emotional and mental psychological abuse on me. I still care about my daughter’s mother. Because she is just that, my daughter’s mother. I might have been stripped from being able to be a father to my daughter for so many years, but it is something I would not wish upon my worst enemies. Right now, going through a trial, that is what she is to me right now. My worst enemy. However, I would not want to take my daughter away from her mother.

Trust me when I say, I have an ex who absolutely loathes me and probably wishes I would vanish off the face of the earth to spare her from having to deal with me in her life. I wish things could be different. I see so many posts and stories on successful co-parenting and step co-parenting. I would love to see that for my daughter. I would love to see that for every single family out there.

When you’re at the brink of breaking down because of the terrible things your child’s mother has done to you. Just don’t forget this one thing:

Without your child’s mother, you would never have been gifted the most amazing gifts in your life. Your children.

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